"would you include me in this journey?"

Sometimes I feel Like I am not doing much with my life. I do not feel like I am working hard enough, or being the nicest person. I was voted the rudest person in my family, by my family. I do not deny that tittle although it is not one I am always proud of. Life can be boring at sometimes, heck what am I saying most of the time it is not very adventurous. I feel claustrophobic often because I feel I am stuck. I am stuck here when I would rather be anywhere else.

I keep to think and come up with a solution one simple answer to one of the many questions I have right now. “God why do you still have me here?

No matter how hard I try, or seek in prayer my answer remains the same, wait.

I am so tired of waiting. I am like a little kid, I long for answers, I am in need of some guidance.

I have slipped the last couple of months, I have done many things I wish I hadn't.

Didn't do things I wish I had.

I have made some choices I can not undo. I have said somethings to people I can not take back.

I have strayed from having a relationship with the most important person in my life. I have not been a friend to those who are my closest friends.

I just need to apologize to those who I have hurt or have not been there for.

I am having a hard time figuring out what is wrong and what is right.

My moral chart has a crack in it. I not believe I can buy a replacement at the store.

Maybe it all boils down that I am confused right now in life. I am worn out.

No matter how well you wash your car or how much you spend getting a new paint job the inside of the car will remain the same. The interior of the car is still old and worn out.

I am ready to just find out what I am going to do for even the next semester. I am tired of being left out in the cold. “God would you include me on this journey?” I just need someone to walk beside me and hold my hand, or at least lie to me and tell me it will work out soon enough.

I am not one to talk to people, I am not good at sharing what is on my mind.

Although lately I just wish someone would be okay listening to me. I am not trying to be downer, oh and please do not feel sorry for me. I just need to get out what is going on.

I am tired, I am lost, I am so ready to give up. More importantly I am ready to give in.