Im done

I was in a horrible mood tonight because the guys in the back at my work were saying things that really bugged me.
They kept egging me on that I had changed and I was aggressive and so on.
It made me mad. I thought if I could get one person to agree with me that I was the same person it would make me feel better.

I decided to text a friend of mine just to say hello.
What I did not expect was to get a "confrontation" if that is what I should call it.
I was already upset but knew everything she was telling me was right.

I sat on my bed and just cried. I have not in a long time. I cried because I am tired of the way I am living. I AM living in sin, I am denying the Name of Christ. I am ultimately living for myself.

I am shamed to even admit this but I know those who love me and those who The Lord has brought into my life will stand by my side.

I begain to search the bible not for quick answers. I came across Daniel 6.
Many of us know these verses well.

Daniel was not afraid of persecution nor was he afraid to stand up for what he knew was right. Even if he was thrown in the lions den.
I want to be like Daniel.

verse 26 "For He is the living God,
And steadfast forever;
His kingdom is the one which shall not be destroyed,
And His dominion shall endure to the end.
27 He delivers and rescues,
And He works signs and wonders
In heaven and on earth,
Who has delivered Daniel from the power of the lions."

LORD DELIVER ME FROM THIS.
I give everything to you.
I am sorry for how I have lived my life.
I have brought shame to your name.

I do not need someone to agree with me or someone to make me feel good.
I do not want anyone to sugar coat anything for me.
I have changed and it is not good.
Lord mold me for your will and your will alone.
I am giving you my life.

disapointment

Growing up I was always afraid I would disappoint someone because I always in some way did. It was something I feared. I often felt people disappointed me as well. I clearly remember my dad telling me often "Amy, everyone will disappoint you in someway. Even I will because we are all human." I remember thinking "then why should i trust someone or worry about disappointing people?"

I really disappointed a few people today mainly by my actions. I can not help but to feel extremely guilty. It put a toil on my today and thats all I could think about.
but I had to stop and remind myself that there is only one person that will never disappoint me. JESUS. What an amazing feeling to know that He will not leave me nor forsake me. His arms are open wide and He is a forgiving God. Thank you Lord for forgiving me even though I do not deserve it.

I am not sure what else to say. I am just thinking.
thanks for reading.