raining down trust.

It has been ranning for days now, I can honestly say I miss the feeling of warmth and sunlight.
I miss the sky being clear and even the sun shinning in my eyes while I drive.
While I have realized I miss something that is bright and happy, I realize that I miss laughing and having contentment in my life. I am sharing something very personal, which is not something that comes easy. I have been feeling a bit down the last few months, more lately then ever though. I have forgotten what it is like to Love life, and to look for the adventures and to be optimistic. I have been so overwhelmed and stressed these past months that I have forgotten and neglected even the most simple things in life. I am ashamed to even say what.

I have now again begun to feel the pains in my stomach again. I have not felt this much pain  as regularly as it had been last year. I can not even go a day with out being in pain. This week a new pain was added, in my hip.  I feel I am begging to fall apart.
I called my mom and my dad today and told them I felt I was breaking into a million pieces. While that was a joke, it is not too far from the truth.

I feel as if my life is in a millon pieces and I am now suppose to sort them out and put it back into place. It is not something I am equip to do. I am so tired and while I am not getting much sleep I am also begging to not get enough rest either. I have acknowledged how different those two words are from each other.