dreams

Dreams, dreams, dreams.
I was never one to be told "shoot for the stars." or "follow your dreams"
I always like to tell people I dream in color. In fact it means two different things. It means that I have huge dreams and that I dream sometimes the impossible. Yet it also means that I dream in color, although I have dreamed in black and white.

I have not slept very well in the last few weeks, due to the vivid dreams I have had lately.

I had a dream about a good friend of mine about 2 weeks ago. I woke up at around 6 in the morning crying. I had a weird dream that he was sick or hurt in some way. I could see him clearly laying in a bed. It was a hard dream to handle. I didn't know what to do but pray. I immediately sat up and prayed. Later to find out that week that in fact he was sick and on bed rest. I did not think much of that but that it was from God to pray for him.

On Tuesday of this week I had the worst dream about my father. I do not wish to even talk about it right at this moment. It had to do with his health as well as a big fear of mine God has been working through me right now. I woke up to my dad trying talking to me, it scared me half to death. I do not believe I was to kind too him.

on Friday night I had two dreams.

the first was about my ear. Yes that may sound weird but if you know me then you will understand why that is not so odd.

I was at my old church (a place I have been thinking about more than usual). My ear was on fire and it would not go out. I was surrounded my old friends, people that I dearly miss. It was weird because I woke up thinking that if something "tragic" happened to me I want certain people around me as well as that I needed to stay in contact with others. I remember in my dream, as I was trying to contain the fire on my ear, that even though my ear was deformed it was okay because those who love me and those who matter to me most will look past the deformation.
which is weird because I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Who I have given up on trying to maintain a friendship as well as who I need to put more effort in.

The same night I had a dream about a good friend of mine. I was at her house because she was moving. It was empty but my brother and I were both there for some reason. It was fine at first but then after awhile it became dangerous. It was night time and there were intruders that were robing the house while I was there. My brother was nowhere to me found. I remember thinking in my dream that is common for my brother. He is either to consumed about himself or he is along side my family when I am in trouble or in confusion. The robbers started to push me because I was in their way. (I will not go into great detail about this part, at least not on here)
but after what seemed like hours I blacked out of fell asleep. Later on that night a good friend of the family who is now in heaven came to rescue me, but I would not allow him to. I screamed something along the lines that "you left me." not sure what that was about. I ran all the way home, (which that is not possible)
then I was at church that following Sunday and i was surrounded my friends but that was not enough from keeping me from crying. I was crying uncontrollably because I was so ashamed and need to apologize to my friend's father. There is more to this dream but that is the just of it.

I talked to my friend just last night and she told me that her family was considering moving but they were not sure. it is weird because I woke up crying after this dream at 5:30 in the morning. I could not control myself until finally I feel asleep.

last night I wanted anything to sleep with out dreaming. I decided I would fall asleep watching tv to hopefully distract myself. But nevertheless I had another dream. This time It was about my family. One of my aunts gave all her nieces a "gift" I will not come right out and say what it was right now.
I do not remember if she was sick or dying but she insisted we all take it.
it was not a normal thing for all of us to do, yet we all respected her wish. For some odd reason it had a weird effect on me and it hurt me. I was saddened by this because I did not normally have a problem with it nor did I want to disappoint my family as I have always done. I remember thinking that I usually fit in quite well with my cousins, why couldn't I this time? Which some times is not always the best thing. My sister was not present because she does not "fit" in with them nor does she really associate with them.


this dreams have really made me think more lately. My parents think I am just eaten too late. others do not understand them. I am not sure what the think of them. But that I wish I could get some sleep. I am severely lacking.