consistencies.

How am I? this is a question I hate to answer.
ask any of my friends and they will tell you that when something is bothering me I will change the subject numerous times until someone one gives in.

My life is at a stand point. I am not going anywhere really but my feet are just on the ground. If they were on level ground that would not be so hard on myself but they are not. I am just existing but rather living. I have been beating myself up for not taking amazing classes nor do I have the greatest job(s).
I am am just making ends meet and going with the flow is how things are going right now.

I stayed at the house that I lived at for almost 4 of the 5 months I was out of the house my senior year. It was really hard. I have avoided going there as much as I could since then, even though that used to be my hide away, as well as the place where I could talk and let everything out. That is something I do not allow myself to do anymore.
I was not there more than 5 hours each day and yes that is calculating the time I slept. Therefor it was a very tiring week.
I could not help but also wish I was comfortable there, because i missed that comfort. It is strange to say that I came home during the day to get things done as well as take a shower and different things. The place I have tired to get away from is the place I returned but not cause I felt security there but because it was familiar.
That has been a constant theme in my life.
Something that I am need to work on. I have fallen back into some old "habits" if you want to call them that.
I am not sure why but that because it is something that I have never and deny to resolve. It has been a constant that I am not sure how to let go.

I love sleep. my life has the tendency to fall apart when Im awake you know?
-- Ernest Hemingway

its been a really hard week this is only one of the things that are bothering right now but that okay I suppose life goes on. Life goes on.